It’s bright as daylight outside.
I am fighting off random bad memories, remembering the wise words my girl Christine told me: Just open the window on that negativity and let it go. Life is good. Your heart can forgive someone long before your brain can; your brain holds on to stuff longer, in an attempt to protect you.
Most days, I am okay. With divorces and separations everywhere, it is odd to think we made it through. This is not to say that I am 100% over everything, because honestly, I am not. I hate the name Ruby. I have blocked the majority of my memories of my life in Florida, since they involve my ex-best-friend who was never a friend for the most part. I am going to insist, with our tax return, we buy a different bed. New year, new bed. Too many painful memories associated with our old one, which most nights, does not bother me. Tonight it does. I tried to lay down with B, the dog, the Babysaur, and it just wouldn’t work. Either from the nap, the memories, or the restlessness, I can see the bright light from the moon through my window and hear the wind, I want to be out on a beach somewhere, not home–tonight is going to be a late night if not all night. Red Bull and Coffee tomorrow, to hell with looking good. Who am I trying to impress anyway?
